ANGER

""Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

Mark Twain

Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences, regardless of gender. However, society often portrays anger as a masculine emotion, leading some men to believe that they should be aggressive and unemotional. This can lead to a tendency to suppress emotions, which can lead to explosive outbursts or long-term resentment. It's important for men to understand that it's healthy and normal to experience and express emotions, including anger, in a constructive way. Learning how to express emotions effectively and communicate assertively can help men better manage their anger and build healthier relationships.

WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR

  • Pounding heart

  • Muscle tension

  • Accelerated heartbeat

  • Changes in breathing

  • Body trembles

  • Goosebumps

  • Flushed face

  • Clenched fists

  • Loss of control over trivial issues

  • Violent impulses

  • Inability to face reality

  • Jealousy and resentfulness

  • Low frustration tolerance

  • Unreasonable expectations

  • Suicidal tendencies

  • Melancholy and depression

  • Dominating behavior

CAUSES

Anger is often caused by how men think and interpret situations. The following are four types of thinking that can cause irrational anger.

Emotional Reasoning: People who reason emotionally are prone to confusing their own feelings with facts. Because of this, they'll interpret an innocent conversation or event as an attack on them. This can lead to misplaced anger.

Low Frustration Tolerance: Many things can cause frustration tolerance to lower. It can be stressful. It can be fatigue. It can be the mother of all hangovers. Regardless of the cause, a low frustration tolerance can lead us to interpret normal things as threats to our well-being or ego.

Unreasonable Expectations: Men with unreasonable expectations expect the world to act how they want it to. If a person, or even an uncontrollable event, behaves differently than what's expected, it's easy for frustration and anger to set in.

People-Rating: People-rating is something we all do on occasion. When we label our boss an asshole or our brother-in-law an idiot, we are actually dehumanizing them and making it easier to get pissed off at them.

ANGER & THE BRAIN

When you get angry, your brain triggers the release of cortisol, adrenaline, and catecholamine into your bloodstream. These chemicals give your heart the boost it needs to get you through dangerous situations. The effect of anger on the brain shares a similar intoxicating quality to methamphetamines. And like meth, if experienced too often anger can become addicting.

What can I do?

Rage is dangerous. Not only could you damage property or explode on another person, you are also a hazard to yourself. And I'm not just talking about bloody knuckles and black eyes. Excessive anger has been shown to raise blood pressure and even cause heart attacks.

If you believe that you are dealing with dysfunctional anger, it's important that you seek professional help. A therapist will likely work with you to determine the source of your anger and provide you with behavioral techniques you can use to disarm the rage before you explode like a stick of dynamite.